This is what I’m dating.
You hate it when I try to have other friends. You holler and honk your horn and argue with me when you’re late or nervous or tired or shy or hungry or any damn time you feel like it and I never get to talk back or take a tone, even when I am too.
You’re sweet and silly one second and then terse and snappish the next and scatterbrained and judgmental and so easily threatened it makes normal conversation difficult. You lack follow-through and common sense.
I don’t love you. I hate it but after all this time and all you’ve done I’m angry at you more frequently than in awe of you. Trying for months to be satisfied has just left me feeling lonely and sad and resentful of all your habits and ways. Cutting out our 24/7 just proved to me how much I’ve been going through uncomfortable motions.
I’m afraid to leave you because I can’t believe I’ll find anyone else who sees me as beautiful as you (say you) do, who will be intelligent, creative, dirty and accepting, who will inspire me, listen to me and call me on my crap. No one will like my stretch marks and my scars, will hit me in the sweet ways or call me the right wrong names.
I don’t want you to be perfect, I just don’t want to feel like you need to be fixed.
(via bloodydirt)
